maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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