I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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