Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
two words...techno handjob
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
