The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
