i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
