I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Your cock deserves a montage
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
