First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize