we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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