Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
