Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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