Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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