She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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