At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
