he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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