I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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