she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
did you just send me my own nude
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
