He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
