If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
