but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize