the day after is always just damage control
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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