Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
