The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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