They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
