I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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