Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
