come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
