Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
