Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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