Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize