who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
well you can't waste a boner
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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