That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
