Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
