OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
there is puke in my bra ... again
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