What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize