It's Friday. Sex?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
not ubering you a puppy
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
