I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
