PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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