I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
