By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize