I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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