i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
