I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We need to feng shui this bitch.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
