About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
