The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He better not be in your backpack
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
