And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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