based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
