You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
