Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
