I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize