whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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