God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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