Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize