I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
