Umm I'm too high to move.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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