fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She even gives head with a lisp.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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