Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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