I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize