So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
