just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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