im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
