when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
